(Cont'd) So, continuing this blog 2 hours after I recovered from my migraine. I am now thinking somewhat rationally, but that doesn't mean my thoughts have completely disintegrated along with my migraine. The best way right now, is to try and focus on God and just keeping the faith that He will take care of me and my family. This is the best I can do right now, and just work on letting it go.

It's a funny thing about dwelling, it can really pull you into a vortex and into a black hole, until it eats you up alive. My psychologist told me about this. If I don't snap out of it, and keep dwelling about what's been done, I will go on a downward spiral, and I will be in too deep to get out. I have to snap out of it, and just really pray to God that it's y anxiety talking and that I will be OK.

Today's prompt, Day 8 of Goodbye Anxiety Hello Joy: "What would make you happy right now? How can you achieve that happiness?". I think it's very fitting considering this day's dark mood. And yes, I think putting my focus on something more positive will put me in a much better light compare to the shadowy parts of my mind. I have to step into the light and slowly lift the dark cloud that has been hanging over my head. (meditating...)

(Cont'd) I took the time to meditate, and focused on the prompting question. I'd have to say, the beach. Any beach where there's sun's warmth and wind on my face, sand on my feet, and the sound of the waves crashing against the shoreline and some birds chirping happily nearby. Then we watch the sunrise and the sunset on repeat.
I close my eyes and I try to imagine the smells: salt water, mixed with the smell of piña colladas, sunblock, and a hint of ihaw cooking somewhere. I hear voices near me, my sister singing mostly to herself to the music that's playing on my niece's Bose Bluetooth speaker. The sound of all our children playing by the pool. Our husbands no where to be seen, but somewhere close by drinking beer. I think about this scene for a good 30 minutes, with the Peaceful Meditation playlist from Spotify on shuffle.
For the first time in the last 22 hours, I feel at peace. Going to the beach with my family is what will make me happy right now. I can't wait for all of this to over, and take a long trip to the beach with my family and just appreciate being together. This feeling of emptiness and loneliness is how I got myself into a thinking spell. I was careless, reckless, and irresponsible, and I have been downward spiraling ever since.

But I am not going to think about that right now. I am going to let it go and TRUST GOD that my family is going to be OK. I will keep the faith and move on. Stay positive today and just stay calm.

Click for Peaceful Meditation Playlist