Why I do not worry about my kids' screen time
#tmmandbaby
The digital age. The time where kids know more about gadgets than their parents. I have two kids. My boy who is four, and my girl who is two. Both of my kids love watching shows on their tablets.
Ever since I became a mom, I have met them all -the parent shamers: the tablet shamers, the mommy shamers, the breastfeeding shamers. Basically all shamers related to parenting and motherhood.
One most discussed topic in my mommy group, is the use of the tablet computer. A lot of my friends are concerned about their own kids' screentime, but I was not the one to worry too much about it. I know that some of you may already be raising an eyebrow at that, but before you even judge me, allow me to tell you why. And you don't have to like it.
Yes, it is true that growing up during our generation, we did not have gadgets and we spent most of our time outside. But I do remember also that I spent a great deal of my childhood watching Tom & Jerry, Sesame Street, and Batibot -and yes! Even Eat Bulaga! That counts as screen time, yes? In fact, that is mostly what I can remember about my childhood.
When my first born was younger, barely 2 years old, I constantly worried about his screen time. He was glued to the TV watching Lightning McQueen, or watching Baby Bus on YouTube. I would time him and would freak out every time I saw him holding a tablet or if he exceeded an hour of watching shows.
Being a first time mom, I asked for advise from other parents and poked around Google for a little bit and found out that kids' "screen-time" is the most sought out topic for modern parenting. And as it turned out, asking other parents about this tend to open up a can of worms, and in come the unsolicited advice.
Ironically, the internet is full of angsty, virtue-pushing articles from parents swearing and making an oath in blood that they will keep their kids away from devices, and keeping their children off-line for as long as possible. I must admit, when I was still pregnant with my Henri, I had the same exact ideal virtue.
So let's break it down. I've read in one of the a many articles I saw online, an analogy came up: Imagine in the 50's where a child spends most of his or her time outside climbing trees, using their imaginations, running around in the backyard and getting themselves into trouble. Imagine applying this to the modern age to your child, sounds wonderfully ideal doesn't it? Children spend most of their time outdoors and just exploring.
What I cannot find anywhere in the webverse is a follow-up essay explaining what happens after one of the kids breaks a leg from falling out of a tree or a roof. I’d like to know if that parent is still unwilling to hand over a gadget or turning the television on to help pass the long hours of waiting. I rather doubt it.
When I limited Henri's screen time, I noticed that he got more and more antsy waiting for the next screen time. He threw tantrums and refused to go to the play ground. When I did not have a yaya and I had to bring him to business lunches, my best friend was YouTube Kids. He would sit quietly on his chair while I had my meetings.
Since I started to relax a little bit and left it to my kids to watch their shows, I found them more and more actively playing with their toys and with each other (well, more like fighting) than being glued to their gadgets. I find that they spent more time outside than indoors.
It's kind of like dieting, I guess? The more you try to deprive yourself from eating what you want, the more you are craving it. But once you tell yourself that you can still eat the good stuff but eating right 80% of the time, you find yourself craving them less and less.
Of course I do not let them watch YouTube for hours at a time. I do still TRY to set some rules:
1. Don't watch YouTube when you are with your cousins and friends.
2. No more screen time at 7PM onwards.
3. When you go outside, then you actually play outside.
4. No gadgets while eating (well.. sometimes)
5. Tantrums does not translate to screen time.
I work from home. I manage an organic beauty business, I blog, and I am also a makeup artist. So worrying about my kids' screen times is the last thing from my mind.
More often than not, I always find them playing with their toys rather than watching shows. I do cook and bake a lot and my kids enjoy watching me and do a little playing in the kitchen. I let them crush the garlic or scramble the eggs. I sometimes ask them to sprinkle flour on the fried chicken. So when they are playing with their gadgets and they see me walk to the kitchen, they immediately drop what they are doing and join me in there for some mom and kids time.
What you decide about screen time and how you handle it does not really matter. This might sound a bit like hearsay and everybody's got their stories. Haven’t I heard about that child who had a seizure because of too much screen time? Or seeing a child get spanked after a YouTube binge? Or the time where a youngster copied something terrible after watching something terrible in a terrible app? Or how about the Momo challenge that had spread like wild fire that caused wide spread panic? The irony of all this is that in our much connected digital world, such stories spread so fast that they feel like fast speed data.
Not just because I wrote about my experience, that makes it right. Basically, parenting is a no-fly zone. You cannot hover or impose your values to other parents. What you can do is tell them about your experiences, and you find out what works best for your family and your kids.
Each child is different, so do not compare your children to others. I think that comparing kids is even worse than screen time.
WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ABOUT
SCREEN TIME? I'D LOVE TO KNOW!
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